WIN OR LOSE (Unknown Author)

Whether you win or lose the game

Don’t be too proud nor hide in shame

Someone must lose

Someone must win

For game results are all the same

When you happen to have the luck

Befriend your foe and do not mock

With hurting words please do not stab

For you’ll cause pain inside his heart

And when defeat becomes your fate

Hold your tongue and never hate

Smile pleasantly and merely wait

For luck will come some other date

+++++

Personal Note: This is a poem recited by my daughter together with her classmates at their school program.

Unrequited Love Quotes

Loving you was easy,
losing you was hard.
Loving you is still easy,
but knowing you are no longer mine,
is the hardest of it all.

~~~

If you could choose between life
and death you would almost rather die,
love is fun but hurts
so much the price you pay is high.
And so I say don’t fall in love,
you will get hurt before your through.
You see my friend,
I ought to know,
I fell in love with you.

~~~

I thought I’d forget you,
but I guess I forgot to.

~~~

You hurt me more than I deserve,
how can you be so cruel?
I love you more than you deserve,
why am I such a fool?

~~~

It’s amazing how you
make your face just like a wall,
how you take your heart and turn it off,
how I turn my head and lose it all.

~~~

Every few nights or
so you pop into my dreams,
I just can’t get rid of you like
you got rid of me.

~~~

If you’re not the one for me,
and I still think you’re perfect,
think of how amazing
it will be to find the one who is.

~~~

The worst thing is holding on to someone
who doesn’t want to be held on to.

~~~

Days continue to pass,
stars continue to shine.
Why do I have tears in my eyes today
when he was NEVER mine?

~~~

There’s only one thing I regret doing,
loving the girl who didn’t love me,
and forgetting the one who did.

~~~

The saddest thing in life is loving someone who used to love you.

~~~

The one who makes me the happiest,
is always the one who is already taken.

~~~

I wish you could look at me and see the person
you once loved instead of the person you have grown to hate.

~~~

Love… Why does it hurt?
Why does it ache?
Maybe because we love too much and too deep that
sometimes we forget to keep a little for ourselves…
sad but true.

~~~

If I could be anyone at this moment,
I’d be her so you’d love me too.

~~~

Should I smile because he’s my friend,
or cry because that’s all he is?

~~~

Love that we can not have
is the one that last the longest,
hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

~~~

I am everything you want;
I am everything you need;
I am everything inside of you
that you wish you could be.
I say all the right things,
at exactly the right time,
but I mean nothing to you and I don’t know why?

~~~

A mighty pain to love it is,
And ’tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.

Abraham Cowley

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
Washington Irving

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Charlie Brown

An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
Harold Lokes

The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.
Anonymous

You never lose by loving. You always lost by holding back.
Anon

My love is of a birth as rare
As ‘tis for object strange and high:
It was begotten by Despair
Upon Impossibility.

Andrew Marvell

Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.
James Matthew Barrie

Self-love seems so often unrequited.
Anthony Powell

Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest:
Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers:
Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest,
And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers!

William S. Gilbert

~~~

Oh lovelorn heart, give o’er—
Cease thy vain dreams of beauty’s warmth—forget
The face thou longest for.

~Meleager

If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you,
it was meant to be. If they don’t, their love was never
yours to begin with.

~Unknown

Without love our life is … a ship without a rudder …
like a body without a soul.

~Sholem Aleichem

Perhaps a great love is never returned. ~Dag Hammerskjold

I know I am but summer to your heart, And not the full four seasons of the year. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

Loving can cost a lot but not loving always
costs more, and those who fear to love often
find that want of love is an emptiness that robs
the joy from life.

~Merle Shan

Somewhere there must one
Made for this soul, to move it.

~William Johnson Cory

Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile,
And finds in your presence that life is worth while,
So when you are lonely, remember it’s true:
Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.

~Unknown

~~~

Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest: Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers: Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest, And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers! ~William S. Gilbert

Because there is a larger awareness that transcends time and space, an awareness is available after death.

~~~

1. Kahlil Gibran

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

2. William Butler Yeats

Hearts are not had as a gift, But hearts are earned…

3. Anonymous

The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.

4. Tennessee Williams

There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.

5. Samuel Butler

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.

6. Toni Braxton

How could an Angel break my heart? Why didn’t he catch my falling star? I wish I didn’t wish so hard. Maybe I wished our love apart.

7. Charlie Brown

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

8. Vanessa Williams

You wondered how you’d make it through. I wondered what was wrong with you. Because how could you give your love to someone else, yet share your dreams with me? Sometimes the only thing you’re looking for, is the one thing you can’t see.

9. Herman Hesse

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

10. Anais Nin

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

~~~

Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
Alan Watts

Such is the inconsistency of real love, that it is always awake to suspicion, however unreasonable; always requiring new assurances from the object of its interest.
Ann Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolpho, 1764

To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.
Anne-Sophie Swetchine

Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.
Anton Chekhov (1860 – 1904)

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970), Marriage and Morals (1929) ch. 19

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone – but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Bette Davis (1908 – 1989)

Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves.
Blaise Pascal (1623 – 1662)

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Carl Jung (1875 – 1961)

There’s an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there’s an evolutionary imperative why we don’t give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn’t function.
David Foster, House M.D., TB or Not TB, 2005

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

There’s a lot to be said for self-delusionment when it comes to matters of the heart.
Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, First Snow, 1993

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
Dorothy Parker (1893 – 1967), Not So Deep as a Well (1937), “Comment”

One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.
Elizabeth Aston, The Exploits & Adventures of Miss Alethea Darcy, 2005

All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, O Magazine, February 2004

Love is everything it’s cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.
Erica Jong, O Magazine, February 2004

When love is in excess it brings a man no honor nor worthiness.
Euripides (484 BC – 406 BC), Medea, 431 B.C.

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900), “On Reading and Writing”

What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900)

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken (1880 – 1956)

Sometimes when you look back on a situation, you realize it wasn’t all you thought it was. A beautiful girl walked into your life. You fell in love. Or did you? Maybe it was only a childish infatuation, or maybe just a brief moment of vanity.
Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure, The Big Kiss, 1991

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 – 1862), Journal, July 25, 1839

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, February 16, 2004

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.
Ice T, The Ice Opinion

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
Iris Murdoch (1919 – 1999)

We can only learn to love by loving.
Iris Murdoch (1919 – 1999), O Magazine, February 2004

When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, 2005

But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way.
Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), Northanger Abbey

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), Northanger Abbey

I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman’s feelings; and there may often be a great deal more suffered than a stander-by can judge of.
Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), Mansfield Park

Sources: poemofquotes.com, iloveuquotes.com, love-quotes-and-quotations.com, quotations.about.com, finestquotes.com, quotationspage.com

Collection of: Funniest LOVE Quotes

love-funny

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

– Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

– Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.

– Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.

– Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

– Anonymous

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.

– Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”

– Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

– Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way.

– Anonymous

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.

– Anonymous

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!

– Anonymous

You can’t buy love on eBay.

– Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

– Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

– Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

– Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.

– Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.

– Cher

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.

– Cher

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.

– Dorothy Parker

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.

– Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

– Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

– Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise.

– Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity.

– Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.

– Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

– George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.

– Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.

– Groucho Marx

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

– Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.

And she never did.

– James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.

– Jean Kerr

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

– Joan Crawford

It’s been so long since I made love,
I can’t even remember who gets tied up.

– Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

– Joan Rivers

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.

– Jonathan Carroll

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.

– Joyce Brothers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

– Katharine Hepburn

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.

– La Rochefoucauld

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.

– Lily Tomlin

The only people who make love all the time are liars.

– Louis Jordan

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby…

– Natalie Wood

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.

– Oscar Wilde

Love is a grave mental disease.

– Plato

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?

– Rita Rudner

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

– Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

– Steve Martin

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.

– Thomas Hardy

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.

– Tommy Dewar

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

– W. Somerset Maugham

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

– Walt Disney

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

– Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty…

– Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.

– Woody Allen

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
– Helen Rowland

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
– Albert Einstein

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
– H.L. Mencken

Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else.
– George Bernard Shaw

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
– George Bernard Shaw

The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
– Israel Zangwill

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
– Bertrand Russell

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
– Jerome K. Jerome

Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it.
– Anthony Trollope

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.
– Cole Porter

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. (Charlie Brown)
– Charles Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”
– Charles Schulz

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
– Pearl Bailey

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
– John Barrymore

Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.
– Aphra Behn

I don’t trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.
– Vincent Gallo

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
– Erich Segal

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.
– Charles Pierce

Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.
– William Caxton

That love at first sight should happen to me, was Life’s most delicious revenge on a self-opinionated fool.
– Charles Boyer

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
– Lily Tomlin

A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another.
– Paul Bourget

Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.
– Phyllis Diller

Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again.
– Anonymous

Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.
– Anonymous

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.
– Mirabeau

Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.
– Yiddish proverb

I detest ‘love lyrics.’ I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on ‘love lyrics.”
– Frank Zappa

I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.
– Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.
– Edgar Watson Howe

An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.
– folk saying

It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.
– Anonymous

What female heart can despise gold?
– Thomas Gray

A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.’
– James Thurber

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
– Dorothy Parker

Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.
– Mae West

It does not matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you do not do it in the street and frighten the horses.
– Mrs. Patrick Campbell

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it.
– Don Fraser

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
– unknown

There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: Young, old, and middle-aged.
– Anonymous (and with good reason)

Women like me because I make them laugh. And what is an orgasm, except laughter of the loins?
– Mickey Rooney

There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
– Lily Tomlin

A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
– Helen Rowland

Marriage is a fine institution – but I’m not ready for an institution.
– Mae West

My heart’s in the right place. I know, ‘cuz I hid it there.
– Carrie Fisher

My wife and I have sex almost every day of the week,” Milton Berle once said. “Yes, almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.”
– Milton Berle

If you do kiss a politician, remember this: You are not only kissing him, you are kissing every butt that he has kissed in the last eight years.
– Jay Leno

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.
– Woody Allen, Love and Death

We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh.
– Alice Reppler

The sincerest love is the love of food.
– Bernard Shaw

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.
– Josh Billings

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
– Unknown

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!
– Unknown

The great question… which I have not been able to
answer… is, “What  ..does a woman want?”
– Freud

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.”
– Anonymous

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
– David Bissonette

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
– Unknown
(I actually use this principle! HAHAHA! – PurpleRose)

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
– Ambrose Bierce

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
– Anonymous

Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner.
– Anonymous

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
– Anonymous

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.
- Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
–Rodney Dangerfield

The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
– Coleridge

One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
– Benjamin Franklin

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henry Youngman

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
– Phyllis Diller

Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
– Hellfire Hotchkiss

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
– Lord Byron

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
– Jimmy Durante

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
– Anonymous

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
– Jim Backus

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.”
– George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city.”
– George Burns

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray.

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”
– Anonymous

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday
is to forget it once!
– Woody Allen

Yawn – Nature’s way of letting married men open their mouths.
– Anon

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
– Anonymous

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
– Anonymous

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence!
– Anonymous

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– Milton Berle

A wife is  someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.
– Unknown

I think… therefore I’m single.
– Anonymous

Destiny With a Sense of Humor: Serendipity Quotes

old-clock

Serendipity is the art of making an unsought finding.
- Pek van Andel

I had the serendipity of modeling during a temporary interlude between Twiggy and Kate Moss, when it was actually okay for women to look as if we ate and enjoyed life.
- Cybil Shepherd

Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer’s daughter.
- Julius Comroe Jr.

Jonathan: This is the ultimate blend to drink. How’d you find this place?
Sara: I first came in because of the name: Serendipity. It’s one of my favorite words.
Jonathan: It is? Why?
Sara: It’s such a nice sounding word for what it means: a fortunate accident.
- From the movie Serendipity (2001)

Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.
- Lawrence Block

In reality, serendipity accounts for one percent of the blessings we receive in life, work and love. The other 99 percent is due to our efforts.
- Peter McWilliams

It is true that my discovery of LSD was a chance discovery, but it was the outcome of planned experiments and these experiments took place in the framework of systematic pharmaceutical, chemical research. It could better be described as serendipity.
- Albert Hofmann

Serendipity is putting a quarter in the gumball machine and having three pieces come rattling out instead of one—all red.
- Peter H. Reynolds

– you don’t reach Serendib by plotting a course for it. You have to set out in good faith for elsewhere and lose your bearings … serendipitously.
- John Barth, The Last Voyage of Somebody the Sailor

Synergy and serendipity often play a big part in medical and scientific advances.”
- Julie Bishop

In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared mind.
- Louis Pasteur

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny …’
- Isaac Asimov

I think a lot more decisions are made on serendipity than people think. Things come across their radar screens and they jump at them.
- Jay W. Lorsch

___________

Source: http://quotes.wordpress.com/2007/03/11/serendipity-quotes/

Collection: FREEDOM Quotes

Albert Einstein:

All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man’s life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.

Aldous Huxley:

Your true traveller finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty – his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh:

Him that I love, I wish to be free — even from me.

Barbara Ehrenreich:

That’s free enterprise, friends: freedom to gamble, freedom to lose. And the great thing — the truly democratic thing about it — is that you don’t even have to be a player to lose.

Benjamin Franklin:

They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security

C. Wright Mills:

Freedom is not merely the opportunity to do as one pleases; neither is it merely the opportunity to choose between set alternatives. Freedom is, first of all, the chance to formulate the available choices, to argue over them — and then, the opportunity to choose.

Carl Shurz:

If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other.

Charlie Daniels:

A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You’re free at last.

written en route to the funeral for his friend, Ronnie Van Zant of the band, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Clarence Darrow:

You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man’s freedom. You can only be free if I am free.

Dorothy Thompson:

When liberty is taken away by force it can be restored by force. When it is relinquished voluntarily by default it can never be recovered.

Of all forms of government and society, those of free men and women are in many respects the most brittle. They give the fullest freedom for activities of private persons and groups who often identify their own interests, essentially selfish, with the general welfare.

It is not the fact of liberty but the way in which liberty is exercised that ultimately determines whether liberty itself survives.

Dwight D. Eisenhower:

We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.

Edward R. Murrow:

We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.

Eleanor Holmes Norton:

The only way to make sure people you agree with can speak is to support the rights of people you don’t agree with.

Epictetus:

We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.

Discourses

Erich Fromm:

Human history begins with man’s act of disobedience which is at the very same time the beginning of his freedom and development of his reason.

Eugene V. Debs:

Years ago I recognized my kinship with all living things, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on the earth. I said then and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.

Florynce Kennedy:

Freedom is like taking a bath — you have to keep doing it every day!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:

The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people, and a people strong enough and well enough informed to maintain its sovereign control over the government.

True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence.

Frederick Douglass:

Who would be free themselves must strike the blow. Better even to die free than to live slaves.

Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation, are people who want crops without ploughing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the roar of its many waters. The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand; it never has and it never will.

Goethe:

None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free.

H. L. Mencken:

I believe that liberty is the only genuinely valuable thing that men have invented, at least in the field of government, in a thousand years. I believe that it is better to be free than to be not free, even when the former is dangerous and the latter safe. I believe that the finest qualities of man can flourish only in free air – that progress made under the shadow of the policeman’s club is false progress, and of no permanent value. I believe that any man who takes the liberty of another into his keeping is bound to become a tyrant, and that any man who yields up his liberty, in however slight the measure, is bound to become a slave.

The average man does not want to be free. He simply wants to be safe.

Henri-Frédéric Amiel:

Liberty, equality – bad principles! The only true principle for humanity is justice; and justice to the feeble is protection and kindness.

Henry David Thoreau:

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Gardening is civil and social, but it wants the vigor and freedom of the forest and the outlaw.

Hodding Carter:

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings.

Hubert Humphrey:

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

James Baldwin:

Freedom is not something that anybody can be given. Freedom is something people take, and people are as free as they want to be.

Jean-Paul Sartre:

Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.

Jesse Jackson:

No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams.

John Adams:

There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty.

John Dewey:

The only freedom that is of enduring importance is the freedom of intelligence, that is to say, freedom of observation and of judgment, exercised in behalf of purposes that are intrinsically worth while. The commonest mistake made about freedom is, I think, to identify it with freedom of movement, or, with the external or physical side of activity.

John F. Kennedy:

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.

The wave of the future is not the conquest of the world by a single dogmatic creed but the liberation of the diverse energies of free nations and free men.

Liberty without learning is always in peril and learning without liberty is always in vain.

John Lewis:

We live in a country where we’re supposed to have freedom of the press and religious freedom, but I think to some degree, there’s a sense of fear in America today, that if you say the wrong thing, what some people will consider what is wrong, if you step out of line, if you dissent, whether you be an entertainer, that somehow and some way this government or the forces to be will come down on you.

John P. Zenger:

No nation ancient or modern ever lost the liberty of freely speaking, writing, or publishing their sentiments, but forthwith lost their liberty in general and became slaves.

John Philpot Curran:

It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt. (1790)

John Stuart Mill:

The only part of the conduct of anyone for which he is amenable to society is that which concerns others. In the part which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign.

The sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or collectively, in interfering with the liberty of action of any of their number, is self-protection. That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilised community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant. He cannot rightfully be compelled to do or forbear because it will be better for him to do so, because it will make him happier, because, in the opinion of others, to do so would be wise, or even right… The only part of the conduct of anyone, for which he is amenable to society, is that which concerns others. In the part which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign.

Leonid Brezhnev:

The trouble with free elections is, you never know who is going to win.

Lillian Hellman:

For every man who lives without freedom, the rest of us must face the guilt.

Margaret Sanger:

A free race cannot be born of slave mothers.

Marianne Williamson:

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach:

As far as your self-control goes, as far goes your freedom.

Marilyn Ferguson:

Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom.

Mark Twain:

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have these three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to practice neither.

Mohandas K. Gandhi:

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.

Molly Ivins:

It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.

Noam Chomsky:

For those who stubbornly seek freedom, there can be no more urgent task than to come to understand the mechanisms and practices of indoctrination. These are easy to perceive in the totalitarian societies, much less so in the system of ‘brainwashing under freedom’ to which we are subjected and which all too often we sere as willing or unwitting instruments.”

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise we do not believe in it at all.

In this possibly terminal phase of human existence, democracy and freedom are more than just ideals to be valued – they may be essential to survival.

Norman Thomas:

After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the cost to others, to win advancement.

Patrick Henry:

Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!

Pearl S. Buck:

None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free.

Peyton Conway March:

There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life — happiness, freedom, and peace of mind — are always attained by giving them to someone else.

Rabbi Sherwin Wine:

There are two visions of America. One precedes our founding fathers and finds its roots in the harshness of our puritan past. It is very suspicious of freedom, uncomfortable with diversity, hostile to science, unfriendly to reason, contemptuous of personal autonomy. It sees America as a religious nation. It views patriotism as allegiance to God. It secretly adores coercion and conformity. Despite our constitution, despite the legacy of the Enlightenment, it appeals to millions of Americans and threatens our freedom.

The other vision finds its roots in the spirit of our founding revolution and in the leaders of this nation who embraced the age of reason. It loves freedom, encourages diversity, embraces science and affirms the dignity and rights of every individual. It sees America as a moral nation, neither completely religious nor completely secular. It defines patriotism as love of country and of the people who make it strong. It defends all citizens against unjust coercion and irrational conformity.

This second vision is our vision. It is the vision of a free society. We must be bold enough to proclaim it and strong enough to defend it against all its enemies.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

For what avail the plough or sail,
Or land or life, if freedom fail?

“Boston” Stanza 15

Ramsey Clark:

A right is not what someone gives you; it’s what no one can take from you.

Robert Frost:

Freedom lies in being bold.

Rosa Luxemburg:

Without general elections, without unrestricted freedom of press and assembly, without a free struggle of opinion, life dies out in every public institution, becomes a mere semblance of life, in which only the bureaucracy remains as the active element.

Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently.

Sam Adams:

It is no dishonor to be in a minority in the cause of liberty and virtue.

If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.

Simone Weil:

Liberty, taking the word in its concrete sense, consists in the ability to choose.

Somerset Maugham:

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money that it values more, it will lose that too.

Soren Kierkegaard:

People hardly ever make use of the freedom they have. For example, the freedom of thought. Instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.

Thomas Jefferson:

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.

No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the equal rights of another, and this is all from which the laws ought to restrain him.

A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned — this is the sum of good government.

I have no fear that the result of our experiment will be that men may be trusted to govern themselves without a master.

I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever, in religion, in philosophy, in politics or in anything else, where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent. If I could not go to Heaven but with a party, I would not go there at all.

Unknown:

[C]reative ability and personal responsibility are strongest when the mind is free from supernatural belief and operates in an atmosphere of freedom and democracy.

Victor Frankl:

Everything can be taken from a man but … the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Virginia Woolf:

To enjoy freedom, if the platitude is pardonable, we have of course to control ourselves. We must not squander our powers, helplessly and ignorantly, squirting half the house in order to water a single rose-bush; we must train them, exactly and powerfully, here on the very spot.

The history of men’s opposition to women’s emancipation is more interesting perhaps than the story of that emancipation itself.

Voltaire:

So long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrannize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.

Wendell Phillips:

Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.

-frequently misattributed to Thomas Jefferson

Wendy Kaminer:

Patriotism does not oblige us to acquiesce in the destruction of liberty. Patriotism obliges us to question it, at least. [source]

William O. Douglas:

Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.

Source: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_freedom.html

Funny Computer and Geek Jokes

  • There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t
  • If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
  • I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
  • Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
  • In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
  • Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk
  • I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
  • The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX
  • A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax
  • Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly
  • A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila
  • The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
  • UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
  • Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
  • C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run
  • You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
  • JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!
  • 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
  • Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer
  • Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
  • It’s not bogus, it’s an IBM standard
  • Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
  • The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are
  • Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
  • The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers
  • If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages, harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won’t mar the furniture
  • COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  • Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
  • LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
  • The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
  • Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping
  • Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
  • boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts
  • We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
  • Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
  • If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBO
  • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
  • Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
  • Unrecognized input, get out of the class
  • Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler !
  • WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER
  • Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
  • Best file compression around: “rm *.*” = 100% compression
  • Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is “c:\> hack into fbi”
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
  • I survived an NT installation
  • The name is Baud……James Baud
  • My new car runs at 56Kbps
  • Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!”
  • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  • Cannot read data, leech the next boy’s paper? (Y/N)
  • CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?
  • Windows: Just another pane in the glass
  • Who’s General Failure & why’s he reading my disk?
  • RAM disk is not an installation procedure
  • Shell to DOS…Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS…
  • The truth is out there…anybody got the URL?
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
  • E-mail returned to sender — insufficient voltage
  • Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
  • Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the ‘OK’ button to continue
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
  • Press every key to continue
  • Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where’s that ‘any key’..
  • Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
  • Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
  • To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so
  • (001) Logical Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
  • Clinton:/> READ | PARSE | WRITE | DUMP >> MONKIA.SYS
  • (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
  • Computers can never replace human stupidity
  • A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
  • (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
  • Bugs come in through open Windows
  • Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun
  • Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are
  • Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
  • Bell Labs Unix — Reach out and grep someone.
  • To err is human…to really foul up requires the root password.
  • Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )
  • FUBAR – where Geeks go for a drink
  • I degaussed my girlfriend and I’m just not attracted to her anymore
  • Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero
  • Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • Thank god, my baby just compiled
  • Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
  • Windows 98 supports real multitasking – it can boot and crash simultaneously
  • Zap! And there was the blue screen !
  • Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost :-)
  • MailerD(a)emon: You just received 9133547 spam. (O)pen all, (R)ead one by one, (C)heck for more spam
  • A: Can you teach me how to use a computer? B: No. I just fix the machines, I don’t use them
  • PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
  • 1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
  • 1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
  • Error message: “Out of paper on drive D:”
  • If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
  • A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
  • “Mr. Worf, scan that ship.” “Aye Captain. 300 dpi?”
  • Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
  • Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam
  • Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
  • Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
  • Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
  • Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
  • Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?
  • All computers run at the same speed… with the power off
  • You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
  • Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.
  • Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it (C)ancel
  • Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
  • Shut up, or i’ll flush you out
  • Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour
  • We are experiencing system trouble — do not adjust your terminal
  • You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.
  • I’m sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
  • Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway
  • Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
  • If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don’t understand the question
  • Having soundcards is nice… having embedded sound in web pages is not
  • My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half
  • You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old
  • Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
  • I’m sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
  • Ah, young webmaster… java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering
  • What color do you want that database?
  • C++ is a write-only language, once can write programs in C++, but I can’t read any of them
  • As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code
  • earth is 98% full … please delete anyone you can
  • A typical yahoo chat room: “A has signed in, A has signed out, B has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out..”
  • When someone says “I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,” give him a lollipop
  • Warning! No processor found! Press any key to continue
  • Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
  • NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands
  • Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives !
  • NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts out, and re-install new one
  • JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash
  • How’s my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
  • Yes, friends and neighbors, boys and girls – my PC speaker crashed NT
  • root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is ‘a_49qwXk’
  • New linux package released. Please install on /dev/null
  • Quake and uptime do not like each other
  • Unix…best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038
  • As you well know, magic and weapons are prohibited inside the cafeteria — Final Fantasy VIII
  • Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft…and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labo
  • Unix is the only virus with a command line interface
  • Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system
  • How are we supposed to hack your system if it’s always down!
  • God is real, unless declared integer
  • I’m tempted to buy the slashdot staff a grammar checker. What do they do for 40 hours a week?
  • Paypal : Please enter your credit card number to continue
  • It takes a million monkeys at typewriters to write Shakespeare, but only a dozen monkeys at computers to run Network Solutions
  • Please help – firewall burnt down – lost packet – reward $$$
  • If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery
  • Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
  • Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
  • Norton: Incoming virus – (D)ownload and save (R)un after download
  • I had a dream… and there were 1′s and 0′s everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!
  • You sir, are an unknown USB device driver
  • C isn’t that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void

Source: http://www.kailashnadh.name/docs/geek_jokes/

Food Quotes

Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.  ~Jim Davis

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.  ~Voltaire

There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye.  ~Author Unknown

We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking.  ~Steve Elbert

High-tech tomatoes.  Mysterious milk.  Supersquash.  Are we supposed to eat this stuff?  Or is it going to eat us?  ~Annita Manning

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.  ~Garrison Keillor

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?  ~Author Unknown

Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.  ~Author Unknown

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning.  ~John Barrymore

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables.  They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.  ~Elizabeth Berry

No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.  ~Channing Pollock

Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!  ~Tommy Smothers

Chemicals, n:  Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.  ~Author Unknown

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.  ~Robert Fuoss

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices:  take it or leave it.  ~Buddy Hackett

Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.  Lettuce pray.  ~Author Unknown

Edible, adj.:  Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.  ~Ambrose Bierce

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.  ~Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, Pavarotti, My Own Story

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual “food” out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.  ~Miss Piggy

The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.  ~Beatrice & Ira Freeman

You can say this for ready-mixes – the next generation isn’t going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.  ~Earl Wilson

The belly rules the mind.  ~Spanish Proverb

My favorite animal is steak.  ~Fran Lebowitz

When baking, follow directions.  When cooking, go by your own taste.  ~Laiko Bahrs

We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy.  ~William Osler

If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.  ~Diogenes the Cynic

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.  ~G.K. Chesterton

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.  ~John Gunther

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.  ~Josh Billings

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.  ~Fran Lebowitz

A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.  ~George Rosenbaum

Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.  ~Henry IV of France

Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.  ~Robert Byrne

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.  ~Lewis Grizzard

In Mexico we have a word for sushi:  bait.  ~José Simons

I don’t think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing.  Until then we’re stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians.  ~Pat McNelis

Chili represents your three stages of matter:  solid, liquid, and eventually gas.  ~Roseanne, “Don’t Make Me Over,” May 1992, spoken by character Dan Conner

If organic farming is the natural way, shouldn’t organic produce just be called “produce” and make the pesticide-laden stuff take the burden of an adjective?  ~Ymber Delecto

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.  ~Old New York Proverb

Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.  ~Fran Lebowitz

It’s bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.  ~Meryl Streep

Eat little, sleep sound.  ~Iranian Proverb

The greatest delight the fields and woods minister is the suggestion of an occult relation between man and the vegetable.  I am not alone and unacknowledged.  They nod to me and I to them.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way you cut your meat reflects the way you live.  ~Confucius

Worries go down better with soup.  ~Jewish Prover

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.  ~Fran Lebowit

I eat merely to put food out of my mind.  ~N.F. Simpson

I take a vitamin every day.  It’s called a steak.  ~Leo Benvenuti and Steve Rudnick, Kicking & Screaming, 2005, spoken by the character Buck Weston

Dyspepsia is the remorse of a guilty stomach.  ~A. Kerr

This is every cook’s opinion -
no savory dish without an onion,
but lest your kissing should be spoiled
your onions must be fully boiled.
~Jonathan Swift

Sleep ’til you’re hungry, eat ’til you’re sleepy.  ~Author Unknown

Chowder breathes reassurance.  It steams consolation.  ~Clementine Paddleford

A nickel’s worth of goulash beats a five dollar can of vitamines.  ~Martin H. Fischer

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.  ~Alfred E. Newman

If God had intended us to follow recipes,
He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.
~Linda Henley

An empty belly is the best cook.  ~Estonian Proverb

It is, in my view, the duty of an apple to be crisp and crunchable, but a pear should have such a texture as leads to silent consumption.  ~Edward Bunyard

If we’re not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn’t settle for junk food.  ~Sally Edwards

If junk food is the devil, then a sweet orange is as scripture.  ~Audrey Foris

Rice is born in water and must die in wine.  ~Italian Proverb

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.  ~Robert Frost

Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our anti-materialistic, otherworldly, New Age spiritual types.  But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should be as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu and seaweed slime.  ~Edward Abbey

The breakfast slimes, angel food cake, doughnuts and coffee, white bread and gravy cannot build an enduring nation.  ~Martin H. Fischer

What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child?  ~Lin Yutang

Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don’t eat has been proved to be indispensable for life.  But I go marching on.  ~George Bernard Shaw

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.  ~James Beard

We plan, we toil, we suffer – in the hope of what?  A camel-load of idol’s eyes?  The title deeds of Radio City?  The empire of Asia?  A trip to the moon?  No, no, no, no.  Simply to wake just in time to smell coffee and bacon and eggs.  ~J.B. Priestly

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.  ~Charles Kuralt

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly.  Tuna fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock.  ~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

Hunger is the best sauce in the world.  ~Cervantes

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.  ~George Bernard Shaw, “The Revolutionist’s Handbook,” Man and Superman

He who distinguishes the true savor of his food can never be a glutton; he who does not cannot be otherwise.  ~Henry David Thoreau

I will not eat oysters.  I want my food dead – not sick, not wounded – dead.  ~Woody Allen

We load up on oat bran in the morning so we’ll live forever.  Then we spend the rest of the day living like there’s no tomorrow.  ~Lee Iacocca

Recipe:  A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog wouldn’t eat.  ~Author Unknown

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing.  Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven’t yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?  ~Bill Bryson

Kissing don’t last; cookery do!  ~George Meredith

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.  ~Mark Twain

Did you ever stop to taste a carrot?  Not just eat it, but taste it?  You can’t taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie.  ~Astrid Alauda

Cutting stalks at noontime.  Perspiration drips to the earth.  Know you that your bowl of rice each grain from hardship comes?  ~Chang Chan-Pao

Condensed milk is wonderful.  I don’t see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.  ~Fred Allen

Great food is like great sex.  The more you have the more you want.  ~Gael Greene

No, I don’t take soup.  You can’t build a meal on a lake.  ~Elsie de Wolfe (Lady Mendl)

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found.  ~Calvin Trillin

Anyhow, the hole in the doughnut is at least digestible.  ~H.L. Mencken

You are what you eat.  For example, if you eat garlic you’re apt to be a hermit.  ~Franklin P. Jones

The inventor of soda crackers has a place in hell.  ~Martin H. Fischer

Plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt.  That’s why I love vegetables, you know what they’re about!  ~Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt

We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink… ~Epicurus

He who eats alone chokes alone.  ~Proverb

After dinner sit a while, and after supper walk a mile.  ~English Saying

Vegetables are the food of the earth; fruit seems more the food of the heavens.  ~Sepal Felicivant

Always eat grapes downward – that is eat the best grapes first; in this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will seem good down to the last.  If you eat the other way, you will not have a good grape in the lot.  ~Samuel Butler

The story of barbecue is the story of America:  Settlers arrive on great unspoiled continent, discover wondrous riches, set them on fire and eat them.  ~Vince Staten

Custard:  A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.  ~Ambrose Bierce

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?  ~Author Unknown

He was a very valiant man who first adventured on eating oysters.  ~James I

Strawberries are the angels of the earth, innocent and sweet with green leafy wings reaching heavenward.  ~Jasmine Heiler

Tell me what you eat, I’ll tell you who you are.  ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor.  ~Chinese Proverb

Proust had his madeleines; I am devastated by the scent of yeast bread rising.  ~Bert Greene

Sugar is a type of bodily fuel, yes, but your body runs about as well on it as a car would.  ~V.L. Allineare

As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.  ~Joan Gussow

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.  ~Will Rogers


Hunger:  One of the few cravings that cannot be appeased with another solution.  ~Irwin Van Grove

Training is everything.  The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.  ~Mark Twain

The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn’t even know they carried.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

You can tell how long a couple has been married by whether they are on their first, second or third bottle of Tobasco.  ~Bruce Bye

There is nothing better on a cold wintry day than a properly made pot pie.  ~Craig Claiborne

You know how I feel about tacos.  It’s the only food shaped like a smile.  A beef smile.  ~Danielle Sanchez-Witzel and Michael Pennie, My Name is Earl, “South of the Border Part Uno/Dos,” original airdate 7 December 2006, spoken by the character Earl Hickey

If soup isn’t hot enough to make a grown man wince, it’s undrinkable.  ~Grey Livingston

The whole of nature, as has been said, is a conjugation of the verb to eat, in the active and in the passive.  ~William Ralph Inge

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.  ~George Carlin

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.  Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.  ~P.J. O’Rourke

Avoid fruit and nuts.  You are what you eat.  ~Jim Davis

In general, mankind, since the improvement in cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.  ~Benjamin Franklin

Food is so primal, so essential a part of our lives, often the mere sharing of recipes with strangers turns them into good friends.  That’s why I love this community.  ~Jasmine Heiler, about recipezaar.com

I’m not sure what makes pepperoni so good – if it’s the pepper or the oni.  ~Ulrik Stephens

Happiness is a bowl of cherries and a book of poetry under a shade tree.  ~Astrid Alauda

All sorrows are less with bread.  ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you’re hungry again.  ~George Miller

This special feeling towards fruit, its glory and abundance, is I would say universal…. We respond to strawberry fields or cherry orchards with a delight that a cabbage patch or even an elegant vegetable garden cannot provoke.  ~Jane Grigson

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.  ~Christopher Morley

Oil and potatoes both grow underground so french fries may have eventually produced themselves, had they not been invented.  ~A.J. Esther

When I’m at a Chinese restaurant having a hard time with chopsticks, I always hope that there’s a Chinese kid at an American restaurant somewhere who’s struggling mightily with a fork.  ~Rick Budinich

A converted cannibal is one who, on Friday, eats only fishermen.  ~Emily Lotney

Fish, to taste right, must swim three times – in water, in butter, and in wine.  ~Polish Proverb

He that eats till he is sick must fast till he is well.  ~English Proverb

The spirit cannot endure the body when overfed, but, if underfed, the body cannot endure the spirit.  ~St Frances de Sales

[Breadbaking is] one of those almost hypnotic businesses, like a dance from some ancient ceremony.  It leaves you filled with one of the world’s sweetest smells… there is no chiropractic treatment, no Yoga exercise, no hour of meditation in a music-throbbing chapel, that will leave you emptier of bad thoughts than this homely ceremony of making bread.  ~M.F.K. Fisher, The Art of Eating

I’ll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal.  ~Martha Harrison

Cooking is like love.  It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.  ~Harriet van Horne

A man may be a pessimistic determinist before lunch and an optimistic believer in the will’s freedom after it.  ~Aldous Huxley

Cheese – milk’s leap toward immortality.  ~Clifton Fadiman

Life goes faster on protein.  ~Martin H. Fischer

But when the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface.  ~Mark Twain

There is no sight on earth more appealing than the sight of a woman making dinner for someone she loves.  ~Thomas Wolfe

Soup and fish explain half the emotions of human life.  ~Sydney Smith

Don’t forget that the flavors of wine and cheese depend upon the types of infecting microörganisms.  ~Martin H. Fischer

There is no such thing as a little garlic.  ~A. Baer

Soup is liquid comfort.  ~Author Unknown

To the old saying that man built the house but woman made of it a “home” might be added the modern supplement that woman accepted cooking as a chore but man has made of it a recreation.  ~Emily Post

There are only ten minutes in the life of a pear when it is perfect to eat.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is stronger than a mother’s love?  The smell of spring onions on your girl’s breath.  ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902

Bread deals with living things, with giving life, with growth, with the seed, the grain that nurtures.  It is not coincidence that we say bread is the staff of life.  ~Lionel Poilane

Most of the food allergies die under garlic and onion.  ~Martin H. Fischer

Great restaurants are, of course, nothing but mouth-brothels.  There is no point in going to them if one intends to keep one’s belt buckled.  ~Frederic Raphael

It’s so beautifully arranged on the plate – you know someone’s fingers have been all over it.  ~Julia Child

As the days grow short, some faces grow long.  But not mine.  Every autumn, when the wind turns cold and darkness comes early, I am suddenly happy.  It’s time to start making soup again.  ~Leslie Newman

Bread and butter, devoid of charm in the drawing-room, is ambrosia eating under a tree.  ~Elizabeth Russell

My soul is dark with stormy riot,
Directly traceable to diet.
~Samuel Hoffenstein

I’m trying to eat better.  And, I do feel wise after drinking tea.  After eating vegetables, I just feel hungry.  ~Carrie Latet

A three-year-old gave this reaction to her Christmas dinner:  “I don’t like the turkey, but I like the bread he ate.”  ~Author Unknown

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.  ~Doug Larson

Source: http://www.quotegarden.com/food.html