Collection of: Funniest LOVE Quotes

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

– Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

– Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.

– Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.

– Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

– Anonymous

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.

– Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”

– Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

– Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way.

– Anonymous

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.

– Anonymous

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!

– Anonymous

You can’t buy love on eBay.

– Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

– Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

– Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

– Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.

– Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.

– Cher

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.

– Cher

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.

– Dorothy Parker

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.

– Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

– Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

– Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise.

– Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity.

– Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.

– Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

– George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.

– Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.

– Groucho Marx

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

– Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.

And she never did.

– James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.

– Jean Kerr

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

– Joan Crawford

It’s been so long since I made love,
I can’t even remember who gets tied up.

– Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

– Joan Rivers

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.

– Jonathan Carroll

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.

– Joyce Brothers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

– Katharine Hepburn

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.

– La Rochefoucauld

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.

– Lily Tomlin

The only people who make love all the time are liars.

– Louis Jordan

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby…

– Natalie Wood

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.

– Oscar Wilde

Love is a grave mental disease.

– Plato

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?

– Rita Rudner

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

– Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

– Steve Martin

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.

– Thomas Hardy

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.

– Tommy Dewar

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

– W. Somerset Maugham

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

– Walt Disney

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

– Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty…

– Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.

– Woody Allen

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
– Helen Rowland

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
– Albert Einstein

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
– H.L. Mencken

Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else.
– George Bernard Shaw

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
– George Bernard Shaw

The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
– Israel Zangwill

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
– Bertrand Russell

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
– Jerome K. Jerome

Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it.
– Anthony Trollope

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.
– Cole Porter

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. (Charlie Brown)
– Charles Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”
– Charles Schulz

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
– Pearl Bailey

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
– John Barrymore

Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.
– Aphra Behn

I don’t trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.
– Vincent Gallo

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
– Erich Segal

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.
– Charles Pierce

Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.
– William Caxton

That love at first sight should happen to me, was Life’s most delicious revenge on a self-opinionated fool.
– Charles Boyer

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
– Lily Tomlin

A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another.
– Paul Bourget

Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.
– Phyllis Diller

Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again.
– Anonymous

Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.
– Anonymous

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.
– Mirabeau

Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.
– Yiddish proverb

I detest ‘love lyrics.’ I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on ‘love lyrics.”
– Frank Zappa

I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.
– Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.
– Edgar Watson Howe

An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.
– folk saying

It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.
– Anonymous

What female heart can despise gold?
– Thomas Gray

A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.’
– James Thurber

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
– Dorothy Parker

Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.
– Mae West

It does not matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you do not do it in the street and frighten the horses.
– Mrs. Patrick Campbell

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it.
– Don Fraser

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
– unknown

There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: Young, old, and middle-aged.
– Anonymous (and with good reason)

Women like me because I make them laugh. And what is an orgasm, except laughter of the loins?
– Mickey Rooney

There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
– Lily Tomlin

A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
– Helen Rowland

Marriage is a fine institution – but I’m not ready for an institution.
– Mae West

My heart’s in the right place. I know, ‘cuz I hid it there.
– Carrie Fisher

My wife and I have sex almost every day of the week,” Milton Berle once said. “Yes, almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.”
– Milton Berle

If you do kiss a politician, remember this: You are not only kissing him, you are kissing every butt that he has kissed in the last eight years.
– Jay Leno

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.
– Woody Allen, Love and Death

We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh.
– Alice Reppler

The sincerest love is the love of food.
– Bernard Shaw

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.
– Josh Billings

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
– Unknown

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!
– Unknown

The great question… which I have not been able to
answer… is, “What  ..does a woman want?”
– Freud

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.”
– Anonymous

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
– David Bissonette

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
– Unknown
(I actually use this principle! HAHAHA! – PurpleRose)

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
– Ambrose Bierce

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
– Anonymous

Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner.
– Anonymous

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
– Anonymous

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.
- Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
–Rodney Dangerfield

The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
– Coleridge

One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
– Benjamin Franklin

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henry Youngman

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
– Phyllis Diller

Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
– Hellfire Hotchkiss

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
– Lord Byron

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
– Jimmy Durante

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
– Anonymous

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
– Jim Backus

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.”
– George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city.”
– George Burns

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray.

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”
– Anonymous

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday
is to forget it once!
– Woody Allen

Yawn – Nature’s way of letting married men open their mouths.
– Anon

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
– Anonymous

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
– Anonymous

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence!
– Anonymous

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– Milton Berle

A wife is  someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.
– Unknown

I think… therefore I’m single.
– Anonymous

Small Collection of EMO Poems

Our Love

Loves memory has traced our outline in this place.
But will the spider remember, or the sun?
Did the water capture our faces in permanence?
Does the wind create us anew as it blows?
Did the shadows from the trees record our passage beneath them?
Our secret been revealed.
Yet I have told no other.
I write these words in silence, in mute testimony
To what once was.
But our image remains alive in this place.
It can not be removed.
You, me,
We then,
Were here.
We saw the day and hoped for tomorrow.
We caught a brief glimpse of love’s promise.
We were not liars,
But thieves of time.
For now time has now forgotten us,
Yet our memory lingers, and love remembers
This place that was ours.

Falling Away

I am bored with love
and it’s passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity

Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won’t tie us together
when our hearts live alone

Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed
our bodies to become
another pair of hollow shadows
that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying

Your Lies

Funny when things never change
Even when you say they will
But while your off s(rewing her
My life is standing still

You tell me that you love me
When I go to leave
You tell me I’m your only one
And I let myself believe

I know that you are using me
But you’ll never let me go
I know that you don’t love me
I know I’m just for show

I don’t know If I can stand
To see you love another girl
You know that you broke my heart
You know that your my world

But while your standing by my side
I’ll believe your lies forever
Cause everything seems so perfect
When we are together

Autumn Times

Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives
Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls
Mellow serenades that once played between hearts
Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs

Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds
Cupid has lost his romancing arrows
Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow
Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts

Howling chilly wind blows through the mist
Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place
Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust
Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall…

Source: http://www.emo-corner.com/emo-poems/emo-poems.html

Love and Romance Quotes

You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world. ~David Levesque

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. ~Elizabeth Bowen

Love isn’t blind; it just only sees what matters. ~William Curry

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. ~Bill Wilson

Love is smiling on the inside and out. ~Jennifer Williams

Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. ~Michael Leunig

To love another person is to see the face of God. ~Victor Hugo

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. ~Alexander Smith

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never. ~Charles Caleb Colton

There is no remedy for love but to love more. ~Henry David Thoreau

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. ~Agnes Repplier

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. ~William M. Thackeray

True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away. ~Alicia Barnhart

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love. ~Leo Tolstoy

Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here. ~Marianne Williamson

Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle. ~Crystal Middlemas

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. ~George Sand

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. ~G. K. Chesterton

Love is a moment that lasts forever… ~Julie Wittey

Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds. ~William Shakespeare

Love is something you can’t describe, like the look of a rose, the smell of the rain, or the feeling of forever. ~Kristen Kappel

Like a child’s infinite dreams, is the endlessness of love. ~Renee Tripp

A mighty pain to love it is, and ’tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain. ~Abraham Crowley

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen. ~La Rochefoucauld

Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are. ~Houssaye

Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words. ~Fr. Jerome Cummings

Where there is love there is life. ~Gandhi

We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace. ~William Gladstone

Love that is true never grows old. ~Elben Bano

Love reminds you that nothing else matters. ~Amy Bushell

Love is more than a feeling; it’s a state of mind. ~Lisa Grude

Love is like a blazing flame, golden and full of warmth. ~Ben Oliver

Love is like a piece of art work, even the smallest bit can be so beautiful. ~Stacie Cunningham

Love is sweet, delicate, dreamy: an eternity of gorgeous moments. ~Sarah Montgomery

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. ~Lao Tzu

Romance is the fuel that keeps love burning hot. ~Rusty Silvey

If you would be loved, love and be lovable. ~Benjamin Franklin

Love, the key that unlocks the bars of impossibility. ~Fikayo Ositelu

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ~Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Love is when you look into someone’s eyes and see their heart. ~Jill Petty

Real love is feeling like being a part of that person’s life almost isn’t enough. It’s more like a feeling that you would live in the same skin with them if you could and share every thought, heart beat, and emotion as one. ~Rod Cannon

Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood. ~Karen Casey

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. ~Mother Theresa

Source: http://hubpages.com/hub/Quotes_About_Love

Kid’s Thoughts About Love and Everything About It!

Kids’ thoughts on love and the proper age to get married:

• “Eighty-four, because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8 )
• “Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” (Tom, 5)

What do people do on a first date? This is an especially funny quote about love:

• “On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 9)

Kids’ thoughts on love and when it’s okay to kiss someone (good for anniversary toasts!):

• “You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)
• “Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)
• “It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you…that’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)

Is it better to be single or married? This is a funny quote about love:

• “It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)
• “It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

Kids’ thoughts on love and why it happens between two particular people:

• “No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)
• “I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8 )

The question, “What’s falling in love like?” can reveal funny quotes about love:

• “Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)
• “If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)

Kids’ thoughts on love and good looks:

• “If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8 )
• “It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me, I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)
• “Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)

Kids’ thoughts on love and why lovers hold hands:

• “They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.” (Dave, 8 )

What do you really think of love? Some funny quotes about love for wedding speeches:

• “I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when “The Simpsons” is on television.” (Anita, 6)
• “Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8 )
• “I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)

Kids’ thoughts on the personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:

• “One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8 ) What a funny quote about love!

Kids’ thoughts on love and ways to make someone fall in love with you (great for wedding speeches):

• “Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)
• “Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)
• “One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me.” (Bart, 9)

How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love? Funny quotes on love:

• “Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)
• “Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Brad, 8 )
• “It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are on fire.” (Christine, 9)

What are most people thinking when they say, “I love you”?

• “The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)

Funny quotes about love and learning to kiss (more great quotes for wedding speeches):

• “You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)
• “It might help to watch soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)

Kids’ thoughts on the stages of love, particularly good for both anniversary toasts and wedding speeches:

• “Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)
• “Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy, 8 )

Source: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/kids_thoughts_on_love

A Collection: Marriage Quotes

• “A man in love is incomplete until he he is married. Then he’s finished.”
  By: Zsa Zsa Gabor
  
  
• “A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.”
  By: Zsa Zsa Gabor
  

• “I was married once–in San Francisco. I haven’t seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There’s no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren’t all bad.”
  By: W.C. Fields
  

• “I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it’s around the woman’s neck.”
  By: W.C Fields
  

• “I’ve taken my fun where I’ve found it, An’ now I must pay for my fun, For the more you ‘ave known o’ the others The less will you settle to one.”
  By: Rudyard Kipling
  

• “And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.”
  By: Rudyard Kipling
  
  
• “With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!”
  By: Rodney Dangerfield
  

• “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!”
  By: Rodney Dangerfield
  
  
• “That’s when you know you’re a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.”
  By: Ray Romano(Everything and a kite)
  
  
• “For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to say married, get two.”
  By: Ray Romano(Everything and a kite)
  
  
• “Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.”
  By: Groucho Marx (Memoirs of a Mangy Lover)
  
  
• “The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.”
  By: Groucho Marx
  
  
• “Marriage is a wonderful institution…but who wants to live in an institution?”
  By: Groucho Marx
  
  
• “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
  By: Groucho Marx
  
  
• “It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can.”
  By: George Bernard Shaw
  

• “I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, What will you have, sir? And I said, A glass of hemlock.”
  By: Ernest Hemingway
  
  
• “It would have been a wonderful wedding – had it not been mine.”
  By: Erma Bombeck (A Marriage made in Heaven)
  
  
• “The way to fight your wife is with your hat – Grab it and run”
  By: Anon
  
  
• “Yawn – Nature’s way of letting married men open their mouths”
  By: Anon
  
  
• “Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done”
  By: Unknown
  

Source: http://quotes.maxabout.com

Cute Love Quotes (To Make You Smile)

1. “Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means.” ~ Leo Buscaglia

2. “Love builds bridges where there are none.” ~ R. H. Delaney

3. “Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.” ~ Comte DeBussy-Rabutin

4. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” ~ Joan Crawford

5. “When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.” ~ Elizabeth Bowen

6. “Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it has too beautiful a meaning to say it too late.” ~ Kurt Cornish

7. “What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” ~ Pearl Bailey

8. “Love is the only gold.” ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson

9. “LOVE: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” ~ Mark Twain

10. “Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.” ~ Josh Billings

11. “I don’t want to live– I want to love first, And live incidentally.” ~ Zelda Fitzgerald,

12. “Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” ~ Jules Renard

13. “Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.” ~ Crystal Middlemas

14. “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” ~ Franklin P. Jones

15. “Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.” ~ Samuel Johnson

16. “It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.” ~ Francois De La Rochefoucauld

17. “If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.” ~ Katherine Mansfield

18. “Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” ~ H. L. Mencken

19. “Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love” ~Albert Einstein

20. “Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.” ~ Diane Ackerman

Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?20-Cute-Love-Quotes-to-Make-You-Smile&id=735878

Romantic Movie Quotes

The Bridges of Madison County

“It seems right now that all I’ve ever done in my life is making my way here to you.”

“This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.”

City of Angels

“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.”

“When they ask me what I liked best, I’ll say it was you.”

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

* “A faithful heart makes wishes come true.”
* “I would rahter be a ghost drifting by your side as a condemned soul than enter heaven without you. Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit.”
* “I want to tell you with my last breath that I have always loved you.”

Don Juan DeMarco

* “There are only four questions of value in life. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made of? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.”
* “Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love? Until your every sense is filled with her? You inhale her. You taste her. You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her, and without her it must surely end.”

Dracula

* “I have crossed oceans of time to find you.”
* “The luckiest man in the world is he who finds true love.”

The Englsh Patient

* “New lovers are nervous and tender, yet smash everything- for the heart is an organ of fire.”
* “Every night I cut out my heart. But in the morning it was full again.”
* “Swoon. I’ll catch you.”
* “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched, but are felt in the heart.”

Ever After

* “A life without love is no life at all”
* Prince Henry:” And what happens if the person you’re supposed to be with never appears or she does, and you’re too distracted to notice?”
Leonardo da Vinci:”You learn to pay attention.”
* Danielle:”A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?”
Leonardo da Vinci:”Then I shall have to make you wings.”
* Prince Henry:” You told me it was a matter of life or death.”
Leonardo da Vinci:”A woman always is.”

Hope Floats

* “Dancing is just a conversation between two people. Talk to me.”

A Knight’s Tale

* “Love has given me wings so I must fly.”
* “If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon. Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever.”

Moulin Rouge

* “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
* “Love? Above all things I believe in love! Love is like oxygen! Love is a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!”

Notting Hill

* “I am just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.”
* “Happiness isn’t happiness without a violin-playing goat.”

Shakespeare In Love

* “I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love. Love above all. No…not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening. but love that…overthrows life. Unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture.”
* “Love denied blights the soul we owe to God.”
* “If I could measure the beauty of her eyes, I was born to look into them and know myself.”

Somewhere In Time

* Elise’s soliloquy:
“The man of my dreams has almost faded now. The one I have created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of in the deepest and most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him, if he were really here? Forgive me, I have never known this feeling. I’ve lived without it all my life. Is it any wonder, then, that I fail to recognize you? You– who brought it to me for the first time. Is there any way I can tell you how my life has changed? Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me? There is so much to say…I cannot find the words. Except for these– I love you! Such would I say to him, if he were really here.”

A Walk In The Clouds

* “Newlyweds. What else do they do but make love and war?”
* “I know that she is good and strong and deserves all the love this world has to give. Can’t you see that, how wonderful, how special she is?”

West Side Story

* “Only you, you’re the only thing I’ll see forever. In my eyes, in my words and in everything I do.”
* “Goodnight, goodnight, sleep well and when you dream, dream of me…”
* “Maria. I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name will never be the same to me. Maria. I just kissed a girl named Maria, and suddenly I’ve found how wonderful a sound can be. Maria. Say it loud and there’s music playing. Say it soft and it’s almost like praying. Maria. I’ll never stop saying Maria.”
* “Make of our hands one hand. Make of our hearts one heart. Make of our vows one last vow. Only death will part us now.”
* “I have a love and it’s all that I have. Right or wrong, what can I do? I love him, I’m his and everything he is…I am, too. I love him, we’re one. There’s nothing to be done. Not a thing I can do but hold him, hold him forever. Be with him now, tomorrow, and all my life…”

What Dreams May Come

* “Soul mates. It’s extremely rare, but it exists. It’s sort of like twin souls tuned into each other.”

When Harry Met Sally

* “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
* “I love that you get cold when it’s seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.”

You’ve Got Mail

* “I like to start my notes to you as if we’re already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we’re the oldest and dearest friends- as opposed to what we actually are- people who don’t know each other’s names and met in a chat room where we both claimed we’d never been before. What will NY152 say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You’ve got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.”

Source: http://www.lovetripper.com/channels/romantic-movie-quotes.html