A Collection: Marriage Quotes

  • “A man in love is incomplete until he he is married. Then he’s finished.”
    By: Zsa Zsa Gabor

  • “A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.”
    By: Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • “I was married once–in San Francisco. I haven’t seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There’s no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren’t all bad.”
    By: W.C. Fields
  • “I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it’s around the woman’s neck.”
    By: W.C Fields
  • “I’ve taken my fun where I’ve found it, An’ now I must pay for my fun, For the more you ‘ave known o’ the others The less will you settle to one.”
    By: Rudyard Kipling
  • “And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.”
    By: Rudyard Kipling

  • “With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!”
    By: Rodney Dangerfield
  • “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!”
    By: Rodney Dangerfield

  • “That’s when you know you’re a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.”
    By: Ray Romano(Everything and a kite)

  • “For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to say married, get two.”
    By: Ray Romano(Everything and a kite)

  • “Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.”
    By: Groucho Marx (Memoirs of a Mangy Lover)

  • “The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.”
    By: Groucho Marx

  • “Marriage is a wonderful institution…but who wants to live in an institution?”
    By: Groucho Marx

  • “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
    By: Groucho Marx

  • “It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can.”
    By: George Bernard Shaw

  • “I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, What will you have, sir? And I said, A glass of hemlock.”
    By: Ernest Hemingway

  • “It would have been a wonderful wedding – had it not been mine.”
    By: Erma Bombeck (A Marriage made in Heaven)

  • “The way to fight your wife is with your hat – Grab it and run”
    By: Anon

  • “Yawn – Nature’s way of letting married men open their mouths”
    By: Anon

  • “Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done”
    By: Unknown

Source: http://quotes.maxabout.com

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